Thursday, June 21, 2012

A letter to the world from an INTP

Hello, my name is Javier and as I've mentioned before, I'm an INTP.  I'm not going to go into the details of what is an INTP because I've done some of that before.  Suffice it to say that is is one of the16 personality traits in the MBTI system.  We are people that basically live in our heads.  We are known as "Thinkers" because our brain is constantly going.  Doesn't mean we are all smart, we think about a lot of just plain stupid things too.

I do want to explain some of the things I do so that hopefully people can understand me and those like me a little better.

You've probably seen me a lot of times and wondered "what the hell did I do to him??" because I probably didn't say hi or smile or anything.  Feelings are not our strongest point, most of the time we are too involved in what's going on in our heads that we don't even think of saying hi.  And when we do tend to say hi it's really just hi.  We are not chit chat people.  Do not take it personally, it's just the way we are.  We LOVE to talk about things that we find interesting and normally if you start talking to us we won't be rude, but the concept of talking for the hell of it is one that we usually do not understand.

If you are one of my close family members or friends you've probably wondered "Why doesn't this guy ever call me??".  Once again, we are always into something new so we get so fascinated about that thing that we lose track of time.  Add to that the fact that we don't like to talk for the hell of talking and we end up not contacting people very often.  When I talk to people I feel like I should have something of substance to say, saying "I did the same thing this week as last week" doesn't really go well with us.  We DO however appreciate it when people ask us how we are, even if our answer is a simple "ok".  We also understand the importance of keeping in touch with people, so if we REALLY care about someone (like family) we'll try to come out of our caves every now and then.

If you are a female and you hear from me often then I must really care about you.  I would not assume that I just want a friendship with you either.  However I probably will never tell you how I feel about you, not because of fear of you saying no, the concept of a woman saying no is very clear to us and we certainly can understand it, it's the idea that it may make the relationship feel weird to the point where it is destroyed that haunts us.  Also the fear that you may also feel the same way about us and then us not being able to provide you with what you deserve, which in our minds if we really like you will almost always be more than what we can provide.

If you are a guy and you hear from me often, I probably had too much to drink, ignore it.

If we've dated and I decided to end our relationship because of something you did, it most probably wasn't just something you did, I was probably too afraid of having to actually take the opinion of someone else into account when I make decisions.  I keep saying that if my workplace wanted to send me to some other country to work, I'd want to just take that chance, I wouldn't want to have to deal with the complications of having a significant other to talk about it with.  At the same time, I keep hoping I will one day meet the woman who makes me not care if I have to talk to her about it.

I am an introvert, but this does not mean shy, it means dealing with people, specially feelings, drains my energy really fast.  It doesn't mean I'm antisocial either.  When my energy is full I absolutely HAVE to get out of the house and do something.  If I'm invited to a party I'll go gladly.  Problem is that during the day my energy level will drop and if I have to deal with very emotional type people or stupid people it will drop faster.  Once my energy level is down I become an asshole.  I don't want to deal with anyone and everything bothers me.

I'm not bored or awkward in social situations, I'm just different.  When I'm in a social situation 95% of the time I'm sitting back and enjoying something.  If there is a conversation going on I'll probably just sit back and listen.  I actually enjoy doing this but most people think "He's not talking, he must be bored".  Just because I don't feel I have anything of importance to add to the conversation doesn't mean I don't enjoy watching friends talk.

One of the strongest points of an INTP is Intuition, which means our brain is always gathering information and processing it.  So we tend to be quite scatterbrained.  We forget things all the time and we jump from one thing to the other very quickly.  But every now and then our brain gets stuck on one idea.  A lot of times we could be having a conversation and you may be talking and all of a sudden my brained latched on to something you said and even though you continued talking my brain is stuck on this other thing, analyzing every aspect of it.  If it's a problem then I'm trying to find 100 different solutions and thinking of which one works better for you.  Next thing I know you are still talking and I have no idea what you are talking about anymore.  So for this. . .. I apologize.

Because of our intuition always jumping from one thing to the next we tend to start a lot of things but not finish them.  We are known for our procrastination.  Our brain is a lot more about how to do things than about doing them.  If I need to fix something and I know exactly what I need to do to fix it, chances are I wont do it because I'm happy with knowing that I could fix it if I tried.  We also tend to learn quite a bit more than the average person about a LOT of things, but we hardly ever learn so much about it that we would be considered experts.  Usually if something grabs our interest, we'll learn and learn about it till we feel we know enough, then we lose interest.

Even though our feeling side is not the strongest,  we do have them.  We tend to care a lot about our friends and family.  We may not talk to them often but when they need us we are there for them.  We usually care a lot more about their happiness than ours.  We will give them our last bit of food if they needed it or sometimes simply wanted it.

You will mostly find us online.  Typing emails or whatever is a lot more like the inside of our brain.  We are always thinking of the best way to say something, so being able to edit whatever we write before it goes out is a huge thing for us.  You'll notice that whenever I write here it is a lot more than what you've probably ever heard me say.  Some people say that when we have to edit everything we say we are not being ourselves.  I happen to think that saying whatever comes to our minds without thinking of consequences or how people may receive it would be us not being ourselves.  We are Analysts by nature.

We usually analyze both sides of just about any argument and we are very good at seeing both good and bad sides.  For this reason we tend to be very split in how we feel about a lot of things.  This also allows us to be great at arguing just about any side of any subject we care about.

There is a lot more I could say about us, but I've already typed so much.  If you take anything from this let it be this, do not be afraid of us, we don't hate you, we usually don't hate anyone really, so feel free to say hi if you'd like because we'll always be up for making a new friend.